Too Damn Young


He picked me up at the corner of my block,
I was a nerous wreck, didn't want my
grandparents to catch on.
I glanced at my watch, it was half past nine,
And here I was waiting for those headlights to shine.
There little girl was going for a late night ride,
with a rugged, blue eyed country boy at her side.
We drove out to the middle of the farm fields,
all you could hear were the crickets singing there,
and the feeling of the cool, spring air.
THe hood of his Jeep was warm on our backs,
we didn't know what we were doing,
we didn't have a care.
I layed there with his chest for a pillow,
but little did I know...
Soon we'd be together forever.
I was too damn young to know any better.
He leaned in to me,
and brushed away my hair.
My eyes met him in a loving stare.
He kissed me like he meant forever.
And I was too damn young to know any better.
Before we knew it dawn broke behind the trees,
time had escaped our minds, we were free.
WE rushed back home before our parrents,
knew we we'd been gone.
I never thought I'd see the day,
but that spring night I gave my heart away.
The beholder of my heart,
is that blue eyed country boy,
who'd been there from the start.
And to this day he still kisses me,
like he means forever.
I'm still too damn young to know any better.

 

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On My Heart Poems

 



 

 

 

Scream

I scream at the top of my lungs,
I come undone.
I come crashing down,
when no ones around.
Tears run down my face,
as I hide behind my pillowcase.
I can't take it any longer,
my heart is broken beyond repair.
There is so much damage,
heartache and despair.
When there's just no words to say,
I scream.
I come crashing down to the ground,
and I scream.
I've always been the one smiling and laughing,
making sure everyones ok.
And I push those tears back inside,
like an actress on stage.
I am tired of hiding behind this happy facade,
time to let it all come out cause I can't hold it in no more.
So I scream,
at the top of my lungs,
coming undone, tears run down my face as I watch
myself fade away.
I've been trying to fill this void for far too long,
my happiness, my hopes and dreams are long gone.
It's been years since my face has seen a smile of honesty,
a smile that meant nothing other than I'm truly happy.
And it's time for this actress to retire,
because I can't hold it in any longer.
So I scream,
at the top of my lungs,
and I come undone.

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On My Heart Poems

 

 

 

Let You In

I should have never let you in,
second chances often still end in pain.
Forgiving you,
well that's something that I just can't do.
I am just not strong enough to face you,
without tears running down my face.
Maybe one day my strength will return,
but right now everything I once had crashed & burned.
I should have trusted my gut inside,
I should have never let you lie.
Now here I am, for the thousandth time again,
wishing I would have never let you in.
You tear me apart, with lies and false hopes.
While the pain from the past scars you made,
slowly unravel all the emotions I've tried to save.
It's hard to believe how we were so close,
and now we couldn't be further apart.
It's hard to believe how happy I used to be,
and now I am fading away from me.
All because instead of your daughter,
you chose another.
Given all the damage you've done,
I still let you in, it's a weakness I have.
But I'll get stronger, that's a promise.
I've made it this long without you,
and I've realized I can't ever let you in.

 

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On My Heart Poems

I Still Miss You


I've tried so hard to move forward in my life,
but no matter where I am, what I do,
my mind always seems to find you.
I've talked to my friends, I've talked to myself,
I've hid behind the covers and cried like hell.
But I still miss you.
I've done everything I can to move on,
just like I'm supposed to.
Yet here I am still wishing for one more moment with you.
Mommy, I still miss you.
I've tried to be strong, I've tried holding on.
I've been weak, and cried my myself to sleep,
cried till my makeup was gone.
I still miss you.
You weren't supposed to be gone so soon,
and now I'm left here without you.
Mommy, I still miss you.
14 years have slowly passed,
yet it seems like just yesterday you were holding my hand.
It was 14 years ago my heart shattered like glass,
I had lost my best friend.
I swear I've done it all like I'm supposed to.
Mommy, I'd give anything for one more moment with you.
I still miss you.
I just don't know how to let you go,
your so deep down in my soul.
Since you've been gone,
I'm left with an empty hole.
I feel hopeless, so hopeless,
I just don't know how to do this.
I need you to guide me through this.
Cause I'd give anything for one more moment with you.
Mommy, I still miss you.

 

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On My Heart Poems

 

 

Love Your BabyGirl

Dear Daddy,
I remember when I was little,
there was nothing I looked forward to more,
than dinnertime coming around,
and hearing your voice at the door.
Everyone always knew you were my world,
I always knew I was your babygirl.
Growing up led us through some tough times,
a broken home and only seeing you once a week.
Then mommy went to heaven,
and you laid with me as I cried myself to sleep.
In my eyes you were the world,
at 9 years old I was still your babygirl.
I remember it like yesterday,
something inside you changed.
You starting bringing around strange women,
to you it seemed like a game.
While me and my brother stood by,
watching at all at such a young age.
But nonetheless it never changed the fact,
that you were my dad,
and I loved you more than anything in the world.
Once you began treating those other kids,
better than your own,
your true colors were shown.
I never thought I'd see the day that I had hate for you,
because you were once my world,
as naive as I was, so young and not strong enough,
I forgave you time and time again.
Your daughter still loved you more than anything in the world,
even if she wasn't your babygirl.
The day you remarried, I knew it was close to the end.
It wasn't but a few months later our once close relationship,
had faded.
We had become strangers,
because you chose her over your babygirl,
but I still loved you more than anything in the world.
That day came when she was strong enough,
and she knew all hope was long gone.
At 18 years old, she turned her back,
and never came back home.
She still loved you more than anything in the world,
but she couldn't let herself feel that,
Through the hurt you created inside.
Here I am now, nearly 24 years old,
and we speak less and less.
As much as I'd like it not to be true,
you were will always be my first love,
and I love you more than anything in the world.
Love your BabyGirl.

 

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On The Heart Poems

 

 

 

Scars

You tear my heart open,
with all the promises left unkept.
I manage to sew myself shut,
but my weakness will always be,
that I care too much.
The scars that you've left me,
are a burning reminder of the past.
Each one more painful,
and deeper than the last.
You always try to come around,
like the past doesn't exsist.
Only I'm the one who can seem to forget.
I've tried time and time again,
to offer you a chance.
To mend the ties that bind us,
and be a family, for you to be a man.
But once again,
you've left me drowing in the water.
So this is our last stand.
My compassion may be my weakness,
but I'm done reaching for your hand.
You still tear my heart open,
with all your false hopes.
But believe me, I won't let you know it.
My smile puts on a good show,
and behind my clothes,
the scars of the past burn.
You may not see them,
with the naked eye,
but they have taught me
all that I need to learn,
about giving your false hopes another turn.

 

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On The Heart Poems

 

 

Rearview

Maybe I shouldn't leave home at such a young age,
but I just can't bear anymore of these tears.
It's time I get on my way to healing,
and the healing begins behind the wheel.
Cause I'm on my way to freedom,
blasting every country song.
Chasing the happiness I once knew,
it's been gone for far too long.
The sadness and the tears are in every poem I write,
but writing won't do to release this hurt tonight.
Here I am tonight instead,
I'm running from my past,
it's all I've ever known,
my childhood flew by way too fast.
Forced to grow up way too soon,
and now I'm reaching for an escape.
An escape from the clutches
of my father's many mistakes.
As much as I know I'll miss the good memories,
that's exactly what they are.
I just have to get behing the wheel,
and drive until I'm free.
I'm headed towards all I ever dreamed of,
trying not to give into my fears.
Remembering that anything is better
than the hurt I've been through here.
This house holds all the hurtful memories,
the scars from all the words,
each and every broken promise,
buried here in the dirt.
I'm wrestling with my heart and my head,
what am I supposed to do?
When I can't keep myself from wondering if it can change.
But the years of endless hurt should be proof,
I know exactly what I need to do.
I'll conquer my fears and leave the past in my rearview.
I'm sorry, I've tried for so long,
but my cries remain unheard.
And after all these years of being let down,
my heart can't handle your words.
I'm driving down that driveway,
away from that house,
I see you come racing out.
But I've got to leave the past,
including you.
The last memory I have is you in my rearview.

Copyright: D.Louise of Heart On My Sleeve & Hell On The Heart Poems